Half Life

Recently I purchased "Half-Life" from Steam, for the second time breaking what used to be my very firm "no first person shooter" rule on video games. 007 Golden Eye on the N64 was THE party game of my youth, my buddies and I would get together to shoot at each other on screen for hours. I quickly found though, that without peripheral vision, the way my eyes perceive are first person shooter is apparently code for motion sickness and instant migraines. And while puking on an opponents shoes is an effective diversion tactic, it is generally viewed as more of a multi-player faux pas than spawn camping or getting the golden gun.

Unacceptable party behavior.

What I have discovered since becoming more of a PC gamer than a console gamer is that being able to control the camera with a mouse rather than a joystick is like the difference between driving a car and driving an ox cart.

Or an Ox Car.

Instead of getting a view that is best likened to sticking the family's video camera in a hamster ball and then letting it go on Lombard Street, with a mouse I have the ability to control my camera view with something much less nauseating. (Although in reflection, my poor ability to use a joystick may explain my strategy in games. Not chess club though)

Since I did not pick up on the first person shooter wagon early there are some things I run into that really break the suspension of disbelief for me. For instance, Gordon Freeman (the protagonist) has no feet. I have been told that this is an accepted practice in FPS's, but I find myself contemplating it every time I have to jump.

And if he has no feet, why does he have to jump? Isn't he already hovering?

But the most disbelief-breaking thing for me is the way Gordon Freeman opens doors. Which is by running into them. Here I am, playing someone who is supposedly a theoretical physicist who has not yet mastered the art of the doorknob.

Effective for making an out, but not usually and accepted means of using doors.

I would be more forgiving of this aspect if it weren't for the elevators. Many games load you on to an elevator as a means to avoid load screens, which is an elegant method of not breaking the storytelling. Even if you're a top assassin in a building sent after a corrupt corporate man you still have to wait for the elevator.  Most games have you get on the elevator, and then off again. Sometimes you choose a floor. Valve took the extra step of including a button you have to push to make the lift move, while I question the position of some of these switches (on an open sided elevator, the switch is on the wall outside of it for instance), I appreciate the detail.

But why can't the doors have buttons? It's not impossible, you have the technology. Apply it.

I believe a perfect rebuttle for this rant is "You're a grown woman. Don't you have anything better to do on a Saturday night than complain about a game released 12 years ago?"

No. No I don't.