Relationship Advice

If there is one thing I would recommend to everyone it is to write thank you notes. I started writing them with some regularity after I quite facebook. It was probably a combination of factors, the quitting facebook, graduating from college and receiving presents for it, and searching for a way to connect with other people since I didn't have the glue of classes holding my social life together anymore.

Since then I have found there is a certain enjoyment in writing a really good thank you note. It's almost like an addiction for me now, as soon as I get something or someone goes out of their way to do something nice for me I start thinking about writing them a thank you note. In my head I start composing the ways I'm going to tell them how much their thoughtfulness meant to me, writing and re-writing sentences until I finally have pen meet note.

I have found that this practice of meditatively thinking of others and what they have done for me makes me more aware of what someone else might feel like in a situation. I have developed a lot of empathy that I did not have before. I feel like I've become less selfish in the way I interact with people since I started the practice of writing thank you notes.

A thank you in person doesn't do it either. I think a really good thank you comes after the fact, it lets the person know that what they did went beyond the moment and that you think of them even when they're not there.

I now understand why my mother always made sure I received, amongst all my other gifts, a package of thank you notes. Even though the thank yous I wrote as a child may not have been as genuine as the ones I write now, they taught me to have that empathy I needed to initially start becoming aware of others feelings. We learn everything in our early development by first aping it and then understanding it, being forced to apologize to our siblings even when we don't mean it, or write our relatives thanking them for those truly horrible sweaters is what taught us to consider the feelings of others in our actions. I firmly believe that we have  to learn to be compassionate because we start out self-centered.

Of course, it could be argued that since saying thank you makes me feel so good it is selfish of me to continue to do so. Ah well. I still recommend taking the time, sitting down and writing a really good thank you note.