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| "Poor vampire had to DIE rich. Couldn't manage to make $10 in the last 100 years." |
In other news, my subconscious in charge of the dreams has decided that it needed to jump on the vampire band wagon. However, instead of smut and/or horror, my oh-so-special subconscious told me a story about a vampire who was ostracized from vampire society because even though he was really old, he had not managed to capitalize on whatever it is that vampires seem to do so that they have stacks of cash for mansions and designer jeans. All of his money was left from his estate before he died and the other vampires were picking on him about it. The rest of the dream was me giving him investment advice. Original? Yes. Boring? Oh yes.
Because of this, I've been wondering exactly what the undead investment strategy is since all of the children of the night from Dracula to Angel seem to have, even in the midst of rampaging across Europe, had the foresight to put some cash away to use a couple hundred years in the future. I've pretty much come to the conclusion that good money management must be the unsung vampire power. Super strength & speed get all the glory, but no Nosferatu would be caught living without a diversified investment portfolio.
Immortality allows for unintentional investments of irrationally high resale value. That loose pocket change might only add up to ten dollars now, but in 500 years? Same coins will buy you an entire country. Another 500 years and you'll be a real estate tycoon. A vampires true secret power is tax evasion. The Federal Income Tax doesn't apply to the undead.
ReplyDeleteI agree that it is entirely plausible that the immortal undead could theoretically and somewhat easily never have to worry about money. What I find improbably though, is that there are (keeping in mind I am talking about fictional characters) so many vampires who have become well off and very little to no examples of ones who just don't have any money management skills. I would think that the (again, fictional) vampire population, being a sampling of the human population, would have a greater number of penniless to in-debt individuals. At the same time, I know that most authors of vampire characters write a form of escapism and no one wants to be reminded of their past due bills when they're watching vampire Bill.
ReplyDeleteFor the last 120 years vampires have been (in large) characterized as an erotic idealized fantasy for women. I have yet to meet a woman who wants an unemployed man that lives in his moms basement. Therefore I'm pretty sure a story about a vampires escapades on his trip to the unemployment office would probably not go over well.
ReplyDeletevampires, you have to remember, don't have the same cost of living that humans do. If you took conventional food out of the equation, I'd have all sorts of extra cash. also, i figure that if they just keep the pocket money of the people the eat, that right there would pay the rent(so to speak). less spending and more income add up over time.
ReplyDelete-william
Rocco: Some of the earliest vampire literature is about female vampires. Then there is Vampirella.
ReplyDeleteWilliam: Going by that theory, it would suck (ha!) to be a younger vampire since more people these days only carry a couple of dollars and credit cards.
Also, I would like to declare this comment section officially as boring as my dream of financial advice.